Monday, February 07, 2005

Why I Do Not Go To Weddings

I was reading DowntownLad's entry about how much should we contribute to my friends' wedding gifts? Since the country decided to turn blind eyes on my dreams to marry a guy, I decided *not* to attend any of my friends' weddings nor shed a cent on gifts.

That is until I have the significant other by my side -- I might visit few weddings but no promises. Generally, I do not like to go to weddings alone because it makes me miserable.

Travis Imel can vouch this because he was there when it happened. In Jacksonville, Illinois -- a blimp in the middle of state, really, where my frat brother, Chris Kuhn married Linda Sue Mehring. Suffice to say, I was invited and all that baloney stuff.

It was pretty ordinary Midwestern wedding, very simple and plain but yet so cute.

Later in the evening at some clubhouse, I was sitting when Chris Kuhn summoned all "available men" to get together for the traditional toss of the bride's garter belt.

I chose not to join because I am gay and not allowed to marry, according to the laws around me. I mean, what is the point of shoving and pushing men just to get a garter belt? Not my thing.

Bob Dramin was a college friend of mine who married and settled down in that watering hole where I will not be caught dead. Bob walked over to my table where Travis and I was yapping, Bob asked me to go ahead and join the group of men who are waiting for Chris to toss the garter belt.

I smirked and said, "I'm not interested, you know, I'm gay and I care less about that thing."

Bob was stunned, "You're gay? Are you serious? You like sports and stuff like that, and you're gay?"

I smiled as Travis said, "EVERYONE knew he is gay, for years."

Bob muttered, "I must be behind the news. You once told me that you had a roommate who was a wrestler, right?"

I nodded -- Bob was referring to Brent, a fella I knew from Georgia/Illinois -- cute, crazy and dumb guy, another story for another day, really! He and I talked few things about the sport, wrestling. It was all in good conversation. Then Bob mentioned about Charles Hammack. I told him that I heard of his name because Brent used to look up at him as a role model for wrestling -- Charles Hammack was one of few Deaf wrestlers to win the state championship. Later, Brent joined the small list of wrestlers who won the state championships.

Bob mentioned that Charles is here in the party. I thought it was interesting. Shortly, Bob introduced Charles to me -- I shook his hands and talked a little about this, that and there before Bob interrupted our conversation and told Charles, "You know, Ricky likes ..."

Bob pointed at Charles' groin. I was speechless. Charles was baffled then quickly told me that he is not gay and he is not interested. I was bewildered with Bob's cheap antics but lucky, Travis interfered and blasted Bob for his insensitivity and rude approach. Bob claimed that he was doing it as a joke. I told him that I did not find it funny.

Suffice to say, Charles and I had a lousy conversation from that point on -- it was all ruined. It was pretty much awkward and wary on Charles' part because of one stupid prick in Bob Dramin.

From there, driving back to Washington with Travis, I reached the decision that I will not attend any weddings for a long, long and long time. Because I do not want to deal with the hassles. It reminded me that I am not normal. It reminded me that I am not allowed to be myself. It reminded me that there are stupid pricks out there.

That was five years ago. And I did not regret at all. I absolutley have no interests in dealing with people's lives. If I have close friends, I might be interested but right now? No, no thanks. Not for a while. Ok?


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