Friday, April 30, 2004

Moving Is Hell

Last night, thanks to Tanya and Cynthia, I was able to haul the majority of my stuff to a new place in East Village. There is a lot of things that I *still* need to get movin' around. Sigh.

I took a timeout last night and headed to The Hole. Corey was not in. I noticed a pattern -- if the DJ is not there, the crowd tends to be different. This one was bit pitiful. The DJ was bad, the video was horrible, the folks in the bar were lethargic at its most.

I suspect it is because there is a new party held at The Slide called the Underwear Nite, you have to put your clothes in a hefty bag and only you can use is your underwear, boxer, boxerbriefs (I love it!), or thongs to mingle in the bar. I heard that lots of my acquaintenances go there. *groan*

That means what? I'll go there in few weeks and at the same time, hit the gymnasium.

Meanwhile at The Hole, I kept on staring at one guy. I was not sure if he was Bill Pullman. When he saw me staring at him, he was bit concerned and worried a little but also gave me the dirty look to scare me off. I smirked. It could be him or just a lookalike dude. What did he do there? For me to know, for you to find out. :-)

Speaking of Pullman, remember the flick called "ID4" where Bill Pullman played as President of United States? In one scene, where all these F-14 jets were firing the rockets in different paths but yet still targeted the massive ship, it only damaged the outer wall of the ship. At a different time, each rocket hits and exploded one by one in different locations around the ship. Obviously, trying to find the weakness to exploit.

It reminds me of my antics, attacking people until I find their weakness and pour salt on the wounds and finish them off in my style. Right, Larry?

I am expecting Vess to arrive tonight and mingle all the weekend with me ... he said he has earth-shattering news for me. I hate that.

Have a good weekend,


Thursday, April 29, 2004

Funeral Home and Bus Stop

Yesterday, Char talked about how uncomfortable it is to stand next to the Funeral Home, waiting for the city bus to come by on 1st Avenue and Houston Street. I agreed wholeheartedly!!

One time I was standing, waiting for the bus. A small coffin was hauled out of the Funeral Home with lots of distraught people. Some wailed hysterically. Some slapped on their heads, screamed on the top of the lungs. A mother was cradling the white coffin as it rolls into a station wagon en route to the cemetary, probably.

I was next to the whole thing. It was so uncomfortable. I tried to look at the street but the body movements, the screams, the wails, the glares were too much. I turned to look at lots of people who were waiting for the city bus. They were also uncomfortable about they were also very tough. They acted like the coffin is not there.

I want to enamate something to let them know that I acknowledge and am sorry but at the same time, respect their privacy. But it is at the bus stop, very difficult.

The city is dumb to put it down.

Any suggestions how to behave in front of the Funeral Home at the city bus stop?

Again, this only happens in New York.


Wednesday, April 28, 2004

ASL Thing ...

I was supposed to meet Jan today at 6 PM, I tried my best to get to Christopher Park on time but I was late. Jan left for home. He wanted me to come to his place in New Jersey for the weekend.

My first concern is to haul all of my stuff out by April 30th or at least, May 1st. Then after that, I do not care.

A certain friend is coming up my way this weekend as well. Then on Sunday, we might visit the legendary Triple XXX Event.

I went to the GLBT Center to check up with the NYCASLCLUB, a social club for hearing people to learn and improve the signs with deaf people. It was nice and mellow. Saw few familiar faces. Suddenly, my eyes targeted one cute hearing dude. I had to check him out. Ahh, name is Emerson. I'll keep it quiet for the time being.

Otherwise, it was a quiet day -- the calm before the storm ... the issue is transportation. Oh, god.

Ahh, I'm going to add someone new to the Friends' list. Deansworld, welcome!


Paternalism II

Some comments made an excellent discussion on the blighting of deaf schools and the ones that may undo the concept of a deaf school system is none other than the abuses deaf children absorbed in the last 50 to 100 years.

Some complained that the deaf schools are not willing to address this subject. One said that even deaf administrators were part of the 'plot' to sweep things under the carpet. Blah, blah. I know what you guys meant by that! I agreed and guess what? I disagreed, too.

Most deaf schools are already shackled with funds being cut at an alarming rate. If they publicly talked about it, the negative image will send the message to the state whom in turn will find ways to obliterate the deaf schools by cutting the funds. Which is why they often did not address this. They simply do *not* know how to deal with this without getting the fierce attacks by pro-mainstreaming folks, who lobbied the government to shut the deaf schools down.

One good example is ... Washington State School for the Deaf. They hired a new superintendent who is Deaf and he addressed the sexual abuses that occured at the school prior to his arrival. There was an uproar in Olympia and Seattle that threatens to alter the fundings of the school, just because the Superintendent decides to confront the issues! The state government attempted to blame the Superintendent for causing these sexual abuses that occured BEFORE the Superintendent got to Vancouver!! This is absurd but is it unique? No. Very common.

Now to Mike's argument about deaf administrators sweeping under the carpet to keep it quiet ... you could say that to pinpoint the blame. But does it makes sense? No. Let's use the analogy of a college basketball team. Say, if Duke under the direction of Coach K violated many NCAA rules in terms of distributing money, cars et al. Then he got retired. Then a new coach comes in trying to make his program look good realized that he has the violations in his hands left by Coach K ... this mess could tarnish the new coach's reputation and put the team on probation for some years. Often the coach will try to sweep it under the carpet, to protect the university, team and himself.

But is it their fault? No. The same concept applies to many deaf administrators who are enthusiastic to take over only to find the mess in their hands, they became unsure what to do. They knew that if they publicly addressed this, he will be scorned, tarnished and mauled by the hearing folks in the government. Instead, some deaf administrators swept the carpet with no choice.

This boils to the whole bottom of the problems -- hearing people. Paternalism. For decades, hearing people took advantage of us because they knew that nobody would believe us. Nobody would take us seriously. Nobody would say anything, really. In 1950s, you got two applicants -- Deaf and hearing, hearing person is always hired on the spot. Deaf person has to fight his way around to make a living. It was difficult enough to get someone to listen to us back then.

Now with the DPN's impact on the society of Deaf communities, we suddenly have the access to these opportunities to take over these schools. Only to face the horrors.

So we just cannot blame some deaf administrators for trying to sweep it under the carpet, they were dumped with these mess on their hands and of course, they are unsure, scared and extremely worried about their careers, lives and funds for their schools.

So blame on deaf administrators are not fair, in my opinion. Blame it all on the Superintendents & Principals that ruled the deaf schools with an iron prior to the DPN Movement. They were the ones who are responsible. Of course, the majority of these are none other than hearing people.


Tuesday, April 27, 2004


According to the website,, Paternalism is: A policy or practice of treating or governing people in a fatherly manner, especially by providing for their needs without giving them rights or responsibilities.

For many years, many deaf schools were practically ruled by hearing administrators, houseparents, teachers, maintenance men and even, kitchen staff. Even they hired some deaf people to work at deaf schools, they tend to be very passive in order to keep their job security going on. So their voices in shaping Deaf children's lives were largely muted for more than 100 years, thanks to the god-damned Milan Conference of 1880.

Naturally, over the long period of time, the seeds of darkness were planted. The powers that the hearies has over deaf children often led to different types of abuses. Be it physical, verbal and yes, sexual. It hindered many deaf people to perpetuate the problems onto each other for the rest of their lives -- because it is the only way they knew how to deal with each other through that manner.

My deaf school was not different from any schools, really. I am not aware that a hearing person taking advantage of a deaf child. It is more of deaf student on deaf student. I suspected it began in 1940s when someone (probably a hearie) touched or molested a deaf child -- then a deaf child thought it was OK as he touched the other kids at my school -- so the cycle of "touching, forelpay and eventually, anal sex" has whirled for 40 years. I asked my father about this, he was quick enough to deny this -- that "quick enough to deny" is the reason why I strongly suspect it occured during that period ...

In 1988, the Deaf President Now Movement exploded in Washington, DC -- its ripple effect in Deaf empowerment shook the foundations of Deaf schools' systems across the nation. The social impact from the Movement jolted the Deaf communities across the globe that one has to stand up and kick the hearies back to the corner and take over what is rightfully ours.

More and more Deaf persons are taking over the higher positions and changed the policies that meets the deaf students' needs, not hearies' needs. Slowly, the secrets of the abuses began to emerge from the darkness. It is not pretty sight.

But at least, Governor Baxter School for the Deaf in Portland, Maine is doing something about it.

Check this link. Dr. Robert Kelly I s Going To Hell!

It is interesting to see the picture of cheering alumnus. Very liberating experience, I bet.


Interesting Tidbit

You know, NYU has 24/7 Library. Gallaudet should have one like that. Sometimes at 4 AM when I was wired and restless, I wanted to scourge the books to build a massive, warped and yet so complicated knowledge of everything ... trying to best Einstein ... but I failed. Thanks to Gallaudet, I'm bit dumber than ever. ;-)

Enjoy this article. I was the VEE at that dude. You can surf his blog as well.

Homeless at NYU!! and his own blog.


Monday, April 26, 2004

The Restaurant ...

I was watching "The Restaurant" on NBC, it was quite a drama between Rocco and Jeffrey. Jeffrey is a stud. Rocco is fuckin' arrogant that you can find in Chelsea, lying through his yellow teeth to get what he wanted. But that is not the topic I wanted to tell ...

About five or six years ago, a group of six or seven went to Pizzeria Uno's in Union Station in the District. Among the group was Lester, a 6'8 foot tall dude ... it was a simple thing that turned into a drama that embarrassed everyone else in the process.

We had our orders done and Lester was hungry and waiting impatiently for his food to arrive. The lady was carrying a huge plate that held food dishes on her shoulder and her right hand to balance the plate. As she began to put the dishes down one-by-one ... Lester was impatient and he was taller enough to see his dish on the plate, he took it off the huge plate.

Big mistake.

The lady lost control of her huge plate and tipped the plate towards our table and destroyed our food -- the lady was so pissed off at Lester as he held his plate. He looked like, "Did I do this? But I did not mean to do this!"

It was such a spectacle yet so embarrassing.

Yes, I had to wait another 20 minutes of dinner.


To Hex ...

Hex, Hex, what did I do to you? I always thought you were strange and weird but that is your style. I never badmouthed or backstabbed you. I tried to be nice towards you because you did not do anything wrong.

But you crossed the line when you badmouthed me to your so-called Christian friends who associated with that old geezer husband of yours. It is silly, my dear.

you're weird, and always will be. that's why you married him.


Pics & Books

These pics on your right are not me, of course. The first picture is Texas' Stacy Stephens whom I termed as a corn-fed chick. She is tough woman who could muscle her way around Tennessee. In her four years at Texas, she had Texas beat Tennessee 3 three times out of 4. Prior to her arrival, Texas had lost to Tennessee more than 10 straight times. Look at how she used her ass to push others away from grabbing her ball. That is, to me, smart and great play -- using anything that might come to you as an advantage.

The second picture is a team that celebrated the National Championship in Men's Lacrosse (Virginia won!) and this guy, Kass, jumped higher with such a passion that I had to pose it up.

Now I had been packing up a lot of shitty stuff in my boxes. Sigh. I came across few books that you guys might want to check out.

Chelsea Boys by Glen Hanson and Allan Nuwirth. It is a book composed of comic book strips based on three fags and a dog living in Chelsea. Very funny and witty book. Ask Dylan.

An Underground Life: Memories of Gay Jew in Nazi Berlin by Gad Beck. It is such a moving book. Gad Beck survives throughout the terrors in Europe but not without a price. Lots of his friends died. Including Poldi Chones, such a hottie who died as well.

Pedro and Me by Judd Winick. This graphic novel is fuckin' awesome. I remember Brad Dale being bitchy and all that. I read this book, he saw me reading it. Then we sneaked into the computer lab after it closed on a weekend night. I was on the Internet, probably on -- Brad was boring, he asked if he could read it. He was reading about 25 feet away from me on my left. Later, he vanished from my eyesight. I figured that he cannot leave the lab without me noticing because the alarm would be set off. He had to hide somewhere. I found him hiding in a corner, crying over a book. I was surprised. He was crying over a book. Good to know that he's emotional when it comes to stuff like that. If he cried over a book, it means it's good book.

A corny book is titled, Tell Me How The Wind Sounds, by Leslie D. Guccione. I read it once and thought it was ... whatever.


Two Things About DelaJoy!

You know, when I get to your wedding and listen to the usual ramblings by a preacher or priest and when s/he says: "Anyone who objects to the union shall stand up and say it right now", I shall stand up and object.

I'll object to your union mainly because it is not fair. I remembered our discussion a long time ago before you met Eric. We chatted about our frustrations with men. You moaned that you wondered when will you ever get married to a guy considering the fact that lots of people thought you were a cuntlicker. I dismissed that notion and said you'll get when you do not expect it. Less than two months later, you found Eric. Now you have a son. Soon you're gonna be married to that charming dude. That is so unfair!!!! Where is it in for me? WAAAAH!

Now on another subject, about the abortion rights. The whole point of the event is that the right to choose. You have the right not to abort, that is your entirely decision but you do not have the right to impose your beliefs on others. If they want to abort, that is their choice, not yours. The whole thing boils to the personal rights that the government has no *right* to interfere. The so-called religious beliefs would like to do nothing but to force us to adhere to their beliefs. All in all, I am not quite fond of abortions but I have no right to tell others what to do with their bodies. That is what pro-life wanted, to tell them how to live their lives. so essentially, I am on pro-choice's side when it comes to personal rights.


It Is OK To Be Stoic, Really!

I'll get to that theme and talk about it but first things has to vented out eventually.

I had been packing all my stuff back into the boxes once again. It seems to me that I kept on moving year after year. Can't I even stay in one place for five years? But I got a sense that this one will be a long time.

Last Saturday night, I went to my new place and dropped some of my stuff there. Then went to XL for few drinks (Few? Yeah, right, you liar, RT!). Once again, I stumbled into Corey, that irresistible charming fella at XL. I told him that in the last month, I already met four unavailable guys named Coreys. He was quicker to mention that he's not unavailable and that he broke up recently.

My general rule is not to date guys who works at gay bars/clubs because it is their job to make us feel loved and drain money out of us, really. Corey did give me the email address few months ago but I apparently lost it somewhere in my palace (Maybe I washed it along in my jeans?). God know, I get cards, notes and napkins from guys with their phone numbers and addresses here more than I did in DC. Don't ask me why. Sometimes I am not used to the idea that there are guys who liked me or find me attractive.

I know you, guys and gals. "There RT goes again, questioning his self-esteem!!" But I assured you guys, it is not. I am not used to the concept (Remember that overused word at Gallaudet?) that I am liked by some. That takes time to get used to that concept (There I go again!)

There was another guy at XL who conceptually (Again!) liked me and is from Honduras. Since he is from Honduras, it is obvious a latino dude. Why did I say that he liked me? He kept on rubbing my back and talked about my life and his life. He kept on asking a lot about me, so conceptually (Again, RT!!) he has to like me. Is it?

I left XL at 1230 AM in order to check the Fur Ball at the GLBT Center to check out the dance that is geared towards bears, cubs, chubs and its admirers. But it closed at 1 AM, not worth my time, energy or cash as well. I am trying to get rid of my belly -- will explain more about it in a bit. I left for my tiny palace right after that episode at the GLBT Center.

Yesterday, Chris and Shane (both are boyfriends) and I met at Excelsior Bar which is 3 blocks away. We drank and played cards. It was my first time to meet Shane after about 3 months. He seems to be happy to see me. Chris is cute as ever. Anyway, Shane asked me that since I am moving to East Village, he'd like to have a gym workout partner and he wanted me to be the one. I told him as soon as I finish everything up with moving, I am more than interested in being one with him.

Anything to win another Shane who lives in Ithaca. He's my type, oh well. I know I'm freaking him out already 'cuz I did not meet him yet. My ideal guy is normal, laid-back, scrawny, intelligent and homeboy where I can come home and say, "I'm home, honey!" just like the husband in that flick, "Pleasantville" -- except that my wife won't use the apron at all. He'll be himself and throw himself on me even if he's dirty. It'd be nice if it was Shane of Ithaca or someone else!

I am not feeling well today, which is why I babbled too much ... I am watching Maury Povich's Makeover Show. I noticed that lots of funny shows made fun of Maury's wife, Connie Chung. It appears that they made fun of her intelligence. Probably because they noticed that she's dweeb? I wondered. Yeah, I am sucker for Jerry Springer Show (Now in 13th season) -- it is sick, stupid and barbaric show but I always giggle or stare at it. When I am not feeling well, I like to watch Dragon Tales. It is charming, brief, uplifting story. I used to intern at PBS National Headquarters in DC. Lindsey Austin Samahon and Jennifer Sale made my experiences at PBS very, very positive.

Sometimes I'd like to be able to hear the sounds is James Earl Jones' voice. I heard that his voice is powerful. I dont care much for birds' twirping or anything like that but I am curious about Last Friday, I told Lorraine that sometimes I wish I am able to speak with my voice instead of my hands because when I am making out with a guy, I dont want my signs to interfere. I just want to mumble something. Oh, well. C'est la vie.

Cliff, I'm sorry about your cat. Did you get to talk with your former roommates about them having FIP? It really sucked.

And by the way, my posting to you few weeks ago were pretty harsh, I know. I am sorry if you felt it was mean. It's just that I felt nobody were on my side when I was trifled upon. Hope you understand what I meant by that.

Otherwise, Jerry Springer Show is on. I gotta throw some DayQuil in my body and nap a little. It's chilly, rainy and drab day. Oh, well.

Oh, one more thing ... Queen Mary 2 came to New York. Last night, I stood by the bridge overpass the Prospect Expressway, it has an open view of Manhattan Harbor. The ship is massive huge. That word "huge" is not big enough for that ship. It was reported that if you turned the boat into a skyscraper, it'd be 2nd tallest building in New York just behind Empire State Building by few hundred feets!! Then the fireworks ensued to bid the ship good-bye as it rolls back to England. Britons, well done!!

I am stoic because I want to -- I have a picture of Dawn Staley walking off the basketball court while her players sobbed for losing a game in the NCAA Tournament. Dawn is a tough chick. Sometimes I move on with my life just like that. Call it a survival of the fittest, I guess.

Until then,


Saturday, April 24, 2004

Last December 17, 1960

This morning, Chris and I strolled down to the Post Office here in Park Slope then walked to the local diner on 7 Avenue and 7th Street. Chris is hearing and charming dude. We had a nice breakfast but something caught my eye. I saw the ancient newspaper being framed on the walls of the diner.

Last December 17, 1960, two airplanes collided and crashed at *this* very spot. I was the VEE at the whole thing. Only one survived, 11-year old boy, 128 were killed. It appears that there was a miscommunication that caused two planes to collide and burn up the residential area.

Oh, gosh. I live on 14 Street and 7 Avenue. Only 7 blocks away was the site of an airplane crash. See? It can happen anywhere else. Even on your roof.

It is interesting to find out now before I move to Manhattan next week.


"Whua-hey? Who dares to interrupt my slumber?"

Yesterday during the break, I saw a group gathering by a window next to my office. I found out that they witnessed a cat falling down from 4th floor and survived. It sat on the curb by my office window. I saw the cat and immediately knew who it belonged to. Got someone from 4th floor to check up on the cat and bring it home. It is OK. Bizarre but the cat is OK. Which I cannot say the same thing for Tommyrico -- that bastard is cold, tasteless and stupid prick.

I just signed up for Gmail which was offered to me via the, it should be interesting. It is -- who will be my first personal to say hi?

Larry, your blogsite looks like a fan of scat or diarrhea, no offense, honey. But I like your images on the right side, where can I get that?

I went home last night at 430 PM and I lay down in my bed and watched the TV 'til 745 PM, I fell asleep until 730 AM. I felt much better, invigorated and all that.

Fuck, Teen Titans are coming up. I heard a lot about them -- I wanna see how it is all about! I'll get back to you, OK? So far, so good -- the introduction is great. :-)

During my slumber, I got 16 messages on my blackberry pager. Am I that popular? I dont know.

Anyway, I was reading an article about Dolly Parton cracking some funny lines at some country music awards about wardrobe malfunction. She said something that she cannot provide such a wardrobe malfunction ... but she wears such a tight clothes, you never know. And she also said, "If it happens, the first three rows will be wiped out." She was on the podium. Good line, Dolly Parton! Love you, babe.

Gotta go back to the Teen Titans thing. It is a childhood thing for me. Gotta check it out.


Friday, April 23, 2004

Praise the Lord it's Friday

That means what? I'm going to home and rest. I tend to be home on Friday nights. I think it is because it's much cheaper to go out on weekdays than on weekends. Of course I have to go out on one of these weekends, so I often selected Saturday night as the means to go out.

But today is the day I am not feeling GREAT. I am tired, I am starting to have a headache. I am starting to feel exhausted.

This Tuesday, I will try to bait a friend or two (Sarah?) to go with me to Big Cup in quest to sign up for Queer Pad, a new not so straight reality show. It's going to be hard to win but who knows? Never hurt in trying to do that. Who knows it'd propel me to be "that" famous like Bill Rancic or Carson Kreesley?

Oh, my favorite scene in To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar occurs when one famous model stopped Noxeema Jackson from moving through at China Bowl, the model said, "You're so beautiful! Can I be like you?" Noxeema laughed then moved ahead and said with a sarcasm, "Good luck!"

Another one was when Chi Chi Rodriguez wailed and complained that she's tired of people snickering at her when she wants to do something good with her life. Vida turned to see Noxeema snickering. LOL.

I enjoyed watching people bicker at each other with snide remarks. It reflected their intelligence, the ability to withstand the insults and return it back with funny lines always won my praises. Which is why I have these friends on the list on my blog.

I look forward to return to my futon bed, where it is waiting for me. Maybe tonight after 10 PM, I'll be able to score a guy or two in my bed. Umm. That is not bad idea.

But hearing Bobby's comments about being tied in a bed getting an ass workout is bit turn-off.

Take care,


Thursday, April 22, 2004

Savage, MattDude & Santorum

Who cannot hate Dan Savage? I love him. I'm envious of his boyfriend/husband, he has lots of things to say. I had been reading his books, articles and so on. It is always amusing.

Dan is the dude who coined a definition of Santorum. It is disgusting but yet you cannot deny that it is ... wholly true that you probably find it in Litch's bedroom sometimes after the sex between KT and LG. ;-) Check this out at Spreading Santorum.

To add the fifth victim on my hearies blog is none other than ThatMattDudewhom I found by accident last night at a bar named Monsters in Greenwich Village after tutoring a guy of ASL. He reminds me of me. Too bad he fled New York for these ugly sprawlin' town called Los Angeles.

What is up with fags in this decade? I kept on meeting many fags who are in their 30s and has boyfriends in 50s or 60s. Can't these fuckin' old geezers keep their dicks on their age-group?

This reminds me of what happened to me with my first response to the personal ad in 1991. I was reading "Our Own", a gay newspaper in Richmond, Virginia. There was a personal ad that indicated that he's 19 (I was 17), [stats was mentioned as well], wants to meet and date with guys around his age. I phoned him. We talked. He seems to be nice guy. We agreed to meet the next day. He suggested the Krispy Kreme Doughnuts restaurant on West Broad Street by Staples Mill Road. An alarm in my head flashed the lights on. Something weird is going to happen. I should have listen to it.

I went ahead and went to that restaurant despite the fact that this particular place is frequented by old geezers. I went there before with my parents when they picked up the doughnuts. So I entered the restaurant. There is no 19 years old in sight. Suddenly, an elder man came to me and said, "You are Ricky?"

That dude is no 19, motherfucker! "I thought you're 19?"

He said, "My mind and spirit is. Only my body is not."

I was speechless but nevertheless, rushed back into the car and zoomed out. Was in state of disbelief for days. It was my first personal ad and this fag ruined my trust and faith in gay men. Since then, I'm always wary of things that might happen.

Oh, well. Can't live with them, can't live without them.


Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Wonder If It Ever Happened at NYSC?

Gay guys tend to work out excessively, maybe 6 days out of a week, 2.5 hours minimum with 1.5 hours spending in the shower room sucking, fucking and/or jerking each other off. Sometimes these guys came back for 2nd time in a day.

Saw this grotesque picture. Wondered if it'll ever happen in a place like NYSC. *evil grin*

Check this picture out.


DelaJoy & CertainDisaster

DelaJoy created her blog this week after seeing my blogs for weeks, I guess it is infectious. So I'm adding her to the list. DelaJoy and I had been friends for years. I always strolled into the cafeteria at Gallaudet and saw DelaJoy finishing up her dinner, I always said to her, "I must tell you something about someone else! You must stay and wait for me." I stormed away from her to get my dinner. She's always, "Fuck you, I can't leave this shit because I can't live without your news!"

YOU ARE NOT MEMBER! YOU ARE NOT MEMBER! YOU ARE NOT MEMBER! (To whom it may concern, if you dont understand what it is -- it is an inside joke between me and DelaJoy -- you have to convince her to write about it.)

CertainDisaster is the fourth victim on the Hearies' Blog. He is from East Village. We have some common interests. His blogs are normal -- which is better than hearing people talking about shagging all the time. Since I'm from East Village, and he seems to be normal guy from East Village -- he qualified to be the fourth victim. :-)


A Good Reason Why I Go to Gay Bars

I read someone writing that it is important to keep drinking the alcoholic beverages because there are people who works at the factory to produce these drinks. If not for us, they lose the jobs! So keep on drinking!


One Last Thing About Hassan

Few things to talk today about certain things.

Hassan was cremated and buried today in Alexandria, Virginia. He shall be missed by many, both hearing and Deaf. I wish I am with Toby right now but I'm sure that he is with good friends right now. I repeated (actually demanded) the offer that he comes to Manhattan to take a timeout from everything in few weeks to recuperate and go from there. He said he will take up on my offer.

About Hassan, he is hearing Egyptian who was raised in The Bronx and moved to DC. Met Toby and was with him for nearly a decade until his death. I cannot count how many good, bizarre and bad memories between me and Hassan and others. But I'd like to tell a story -- a definitely bizarre story that Hassan stared at me and shrugged when I said, "That is unfair."

Few years ago, I was waiting for Toby to page me to get together on that particular day. He never paged me. I became concerned. Then later in the evening, I gave up and strolled down to his apartment by H Street and 10th Street NE in DC. When I arrived, I noticed that the door was bit fucked up. I knocked on the door. Toby opened the door and said, "What?"

It was evident that he was upset. I asked him why we did not get in touch. He lets me in and I was shocked to see his living room, dining room and bedroom. It was as if a tornado came in and messed everything up. I asked him what's going on? Hassan was sitting in a couch and staring at me with his dull eyes. Toby said, "DC Police had a search warrant for one of my old roommates, they came in and exploded the place and took my fucking computer away!" His bed were turned over, his drawers were tossed on the bed. His clothes in the closet were pulled out and scattered everywhere. The furnitures were moved and turned over.

Shortly, the police officers were looking for one guy named William whom Hassan and Toby kicked out of an apartment about a month earlier because he was not paying rent for some months.

Even if they pleaded with the cops that William do not live here, the cops did not care. They just ransacked the place and broke the door in order to get in -- initially, Toby said he was upstairs with Hassan, Derrick and Mikey were downstairs in the living room, sleeping on the couch. It was 5 or 6 AM in the morning, Derrick and Mikey were startled to feel a jolt on the door. They feared the robbery or something. They ran towards the staircase and saw the folks breaking down the door and chasing up the stairs, they freaked out and ran into Hassan's bedroom -- suddenly the cops threw these guys on the floor and handcuffed them all -- denying Mikey, Derrick and Toby from even talking in ASL (they are all Deaf!), Hassan is hearing and he yelled at them that they are deaf. The cops ignored them and they ransacked the apartment. It was such a horrible incident. For months, Toby could not retrieve his computer back. Finally, he got it like a year later.

I was angry with the outcome -- I stared at Hassan, "but it is not fair." Hassan shrugged and said, "I know. Life is not fair. But guess what? We had chickens today, you want some?" I gagged and laughed a little. That is Hassan. Always moving ahead even if horrible things happened.

Rest in peace and dance your motherfucka ass off, Hassan!

Here is a note to the District of Columbia Metropolitan Police Department: FUCK YOU!!!!


Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Should I Say Congratulations to My Parents?

I was informed that the Virginia Association of the Deaf selected my mother and father to be the 2004 Virginia Deaf Mother and Father of the Year.

Let's see ... they produced Karen, Billy Jr, Lily, Hedy, moi and Gary. Karen and Billy Jr are CODA -- Children of Deaf Adults. The rest of us are Deaf. I am the only one who graduated from college. Billy Jr was a dropout. He also signed up for the Navy but was discharged because (No, it's not gay thing) he beats up on a drill sargeant. Karen thinks that since she is the first child in the family, that means she's smarter than the rest. Lily is incredibly whiner from day one. She reminded me of Wonder Woman's publicist, Myndi Mayer's sister who nagged at her at every turn. Hedy is a cuntlicker like Karen, but she has a partner and lives in Dallas. (!!) My little brother lives in Miami. And I sit on the throne of New York. Generally, we are just average family who has the moments of our own.

There will be a banquet in Colonial Heights, Virginia to formalize the presentation by the VAD to my parents on June 6. I was hereby ordered to show up by my mother for four days, June 4 to 8.

Otherwise, I hope it will be a good experience for Mom and Dad -- but you know, they needed a huge exposure from Manhattanites to shock them in the process to be open-minded about everything in order to appreciate the diversity, they're still living in The South. Oh, well.


Last Night ...

It was 87 degrees in New York. People were moody. I saw the city bus flashing words: "EMERGENCY! CALL 911! GET COPS!" Shortly, the police cars blocked the bus from moving at all. Apparently, someone was robbing inside or something happened inside that the bus driver did not want to jeopardize himself so they just turned the flashes on.

Had a dinner with a friend of mine on 2nd Avenue, I dont see that dude around -- who boasted that he'd push me onto the speeding bus somewhere on 2nd Avenue. Whatever. Then I went to Dicks Bar to meet Cyn and Alberto. I missed the huge fight in Dicks Bar -- apparently, one drunk guy threw the balls from the billard pool onto people he did not like and tossed some glasses before fled. Such a drama.

Then at The Cock, we chatted -- I was starting to sneeze because of fuckin' allergies, one guy kept on shoving me with his sharpened elbow, I turned to let him know that I do not appreciate it. He kept on doing it again and again. I became annoyed, talked with my friend Corey who is a bartender about that loser. Corey said he'd keep an eye on him. Few minutes later, he shoved me again, Corey saw it.

Know what happened next?

Corey pulled the water hose that is used for filling up the drinks and sprayed at him with full blast -- he was drenched and shocked at the whole episode. Alberto and I gasped and stared in disbelief. It was such a melodramatic. Corey is my hero. Even if he is a hearie, he is my hero.

Who cannot love him?


Monday, April 19, 2004

Ithaca Guy and Mizzou Guy

Both are hearies -- and have blogs. They are 2nd and 3rd victims. Why did I add them? Ithaca Guy is charming. His entries are amusing and relaxing. My type in a guy. Oh, well. Mizzou Guy seems to be sweet in his entries. Another weakness on my part. And one more thing ... both are cute. So they're the newest victims.



Several years ago, I watched the national championship game between Tennessee and Old Dominion. There was a cameo of slow motion which became my favorite slo-mo of all time.

When I am antsy or peeved, I quickly thought of the slo-mo scene to amuse myself.

IN that scene, it showed that a 6'5 center from Africa, Clarisse Machanguana tried to dribble the ball into the post area. Suddenly, Tennessee's Kyra Elzy swiped the ball off from Machanguana. Machanguana's face showed the confused disbelief then transformed into frustrated one as she tried to swirl her 6'5 body to stop Elzy from running off. IN the next move, Elzy slowly bounced from the right to the left to prevent Machanguana from reclaiming it. Elzy did not know that on her left side, Old Dominion's flashy point guard, Ticha Penicheiro already saw Elzy picking up the bounced ball on her left side. Ticha's determined look quickly focused on the ball as she dived to swipe the ball back.

That was fun scenario.

Take it in Slo-Mo, a lot of things happened. But in reality, it happened so fast -- like four or five seconds.

What a ride. I'm lucky and many deaf people are lucky, too. We are able to imitate Slo-Mo in our signs. I dont think hearing people are capable of that.


I'm Excited That Mike Danton Is Faggot!

When I learned that a NHL player from St. Louis was arrested for trying to hire a hitman to kill his "male acquaintenance", I knew Mike Danton is gay.

It was reported that his "male acquaintenance" argued with Mike Danton about his "promiscuity and use of alcohol" (Hint: GAY!) and is going to leave him because of that and spill the beans to the General Manager of St. Louis Blues about what is going on. Mike Danton was terrified that his "male acquaintenance" is going to leave him and ruin his career so he went ahead and searched for a hitman to finish him off.

Enough about "male acquaintenance", we ain't that dumb. Mike Danton is homo. It is OK to be Gay and play in sports! God knows I love the sports. Last year, Rob and I dated twice and watched the Capitals play Tampa Bay and Thrashers. It was GREAT. I love the arenas, I love the performers, I love the atmosphere. It is waaay better than the gay bars/clubs.

It is unfortunate that Mike Danton resorted to these antics but he should know that he is NOT alone in this. One can be gay and play in a sport. He is probably terrified of being known as the gay guy because the advertisers will avoid him like a plague and even if he wins the championships, he will never be like Wayne Gretzky who is a millionaire thanks to the advertisers investing in him.

Even if Mike Danton made a mistake in hiring someone to kill his boyfriend, it is evident that he is remorseful about it. He broke down in tears and sobbed that he felt he was trapped in a corner and he "did not want his acquaintenance to leave him."

Obviously, he is confused man who needs to shred his secrecy and be free with it. I hope he will eventually understand that it's OK to be gay and skate down the court, shoving some players and hit the puck into the net and make out with guys.

I'd pay to see that, man.


Sunday, April 18, 2004

Few Tidbits Over The Weekend

Heard that Vanilla Ice came to Gallaudet for only ONE hour and Gallaudet paid him $800 for that. What a rip-off. But some said that it was such a great time to be at Rock Festival. Good for them!

Heard that the party at Lee was smashin' successful. Good for them!

I'm glad that Sunday existed because I get a chance to rest and watch my favorite shows on the tube. The Simpsons, AFV, Malcolm In The Middle, Arrested Development and The Practice. Ahh, such a blessing to be at home away from the crazed world of Manhattan.

Veronica, I think you made a mistake related to your state visit, remember when you and JB left DC for California in a truck -- you had to drive through the country, right? Your truck does not fly, from what I have seen! How can u miss the states on the way to California?

I just found out that my good friend's boyfriend died peacefully last Friday morning to AIDS. I'm relieved that it's all over for my good friend, he works hard to maintain the stability with himself and his boyfriend. Hassan and I had our differences but we have such a mutual respect for each other and even loitered a lot. The truth is that they did not ask to be infected with the virus. It was not their fault nor deserved to suffer and die in the process. But for some people who actively chases the bug or kept on barebacking is something that I despised. My friends were not promiscuous. The guys who are promiscuous has no moral responsibility for others except for himself.

Hopefully, in few weeks, I will be able to entertain Toby here in Manhattan so he can recuperate and relax a little from dealing with the whole thing. It will be a good break for him. I told Toby that he is more than welcome to stay with me in Manhattan for a week or two. Hassan, you've done your fight and now you may dance your ass off for the rest of eternity. Go and have a good time in wherever you are as long as you get to dance your way around, baby.


Saturday, April 17, 2004

Aww, Terese, Just Shut Up, ok?

Terese, Terese -- you, of all, should know better than this. Of course, the "chopped liver" refers to the female anatomy but it is not directed at you or any other female friends of mine. They are not part of this -- I'm speaking of "generalized" females. Drop your charade, please -- most lezzies would say, "Take that ugly stick away from me." What is the difference, you fakey trollop? ;-)

Am I in DC or not? That is the question that should be already answered. I *am* not in DC for Rock Festival. As much as I wanted to go because lots of people talked to me about coming. But few people talked to me that Rock Festival is for college students, and I am beneath on that. So guys, enjoy your time! Be sure to share the exciting events that might happened at the Rock Festival like seeing Bobby sucking some Jon in the corner, ok? ;-)

This week was pretty brutal at work because of the audit coming up. I am pretty nervous -- since I am responsible for the program to be evaluated by the state office of mental health to get the certificate (if poor, 1 year -- if great, 3 years) to keep the program. My first audit coming up. EEEK. Plus some other circumstances that I do not want to mention, though.

Dylan enjoyed his time at The Hole, Slate and hanging out with me throughout the portions of New York, today he is going to help me haul some stuff to a new apartment in Manhattan.

Manhattan? Yes, I am moving to East Village in Manhattan from Park Slope in Brooklyn. And I'll miss Park Slope and probably will visit once in a while but I'm glad to get out of this apartment because the Landlord upstairs is imbecile. She is in her 60s, she entered the apartment without knocking or letting me know. A major forbit! She always said, "You're deaf! I have to enter!" I told her, "No! No!"

I decided to get out of this garbage so ... hooked up with a gal in Manhattan for a place to live. Should be an adventure!!

After that, I will take Dylan to Brooklyn Heights where he'll see the spectacular view of Manhattan that is often being filmed in the movies then we shall walk over Brooklyn Bridge and mingle around Uptown for some time.

On a serious subject, Harvey Fierstein is correct. Harvey said we lacked the HIV negative role models. We need to show the community about the positive role models of HIV negative people. One blogger lashed out at him for trying to stigmatize HIV Positive People but that is not Harvey's goal. Harvey is trying to stigmatize the virus. Most of HIV Pozs embraced the virus and barebacked and barked at people who complained about their continued promiscuity. Where is their compassion for the humans? It appears that they are probably mad at the world so they do not care whether if they infect someone or not. Maybe they wanted to secure their rights to be promiscuous? I'm not sure what they wanted out of this, though.

Harvey is correct because we always see the HIV Meds posters in NYC and DC how hot guys are with Poz. We need to have the posters of diarrhea, crix body, facial wasting and kaposi sarcomas to stigmatize the virus itself and we need HIV Pozs to tell people who do unsafe sex that living with HIV sucks and explain why. GeekSlut's blogs are bit erotic and at the same time, he explained about his frustrations with his HIV. But he barebacked. But he has points, but he has opinions. But he seems to be angry and protective when it comes to HIV issues.

Sometimes I get tired of hearing HIV Pozs talking about fucking some guys last night without condoms because "they" did not ask for a condom. Sometimes I'm glad that there are few people who are running out of time, I certainly think they do not deserve to remain on this planet if they do not have a compassion for people by suggesting the safe sex policy.


Thursday, April 15, 2004

Here's Your Birthday Girl!

Carrie, Carrie

Guess what today is for you?
It is your birthday, only reserved for you!

Happy Birthday, my dear Carrie.

May the day goes well for you,
One has to bet that AJ is thinking of you,
Even playing in a basketball game!

Happy Birthday, California-Canadian Gal.

Even we are 2,942 miles apart,
You are still in my thoughts!

Happy Birthday!!

*1,754 kisses from me to thee!*


Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Borrowed Time

Today, thanks to the weather, I am vicious. I just wanted to say that someone is living on a borrowed time. And it is running out. Such a poetic justice if you ask me.

I'd like to go to the District this weekend. But I'm not sure. Decisions! Decisions must be made! Oh, fuck. I find it hard to believe that Vanilla Ice is actually coming to Gallaudet -- actually, I saw him making a comment on Surreal Life on TV a while ago that he vowed that he will *never* perform as Vanilla Ice.

Mutaytor was great band ever to grace the Rock Festival at Gallaudet. I was tripping on several fronts and throw alcohol in it, and seeing the Mutaytors doing unbelievable stuff. I still VEE'd at one lady who wore huge wedding dress and were wearing some taller wooden sticks to walk around but she slipped on the puddle of water, her dress were exposed openly right straight to my face. Remember I was tripping and I was like, "Get that fuckin' chopped liver out of my face!!" after seeing her exposed vagina right next to my head.

Larry, Mitch, remember the gal that I pulled her hair down and cause a drama at RF? I said, "Did your mother teach you this?" Then pulled her fuckin' hair down so hard that she fell on the floor. That bitch has no business of pulling the wig that I was wearing and trampled on it.

Anyway, Dylan is coming to my palace tonight. In fact, we'll dine tonight and chit-chat for hours, perhaps.

Tomorrow, I shall take him to a place and he'll be pleased with it. *smirk*

I met a cute guy last night named Logan. He is studying at Fordham. You know me, I like intelligent men more than pretty bois. You can have pretty bois. They bore me to death. Oops, did I say "death"? *hysterical laughter*

Ahh, I like Bobby's idea -- ask me 3 questions. Anything. I dare you. But beware, I get a kick out of shocking people about anything, really.



Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Well, well, well ... good thing I did *not* go!

Heard that the Triple XXX event was so ... sinful. I'm proud of Nardicio. That dude knew how to party. He is irresistible and yet, so down-to-earth and laidback guy.

The next one, I will be there. No question.

I made some adjustments to my blogs -- I removed Terese by accident. So she's back, again! Santini is on it, too. And I also created a new one category reserved for "them": Hearies' Blogs. Narcissism 101 is the first victim. Liked his blogs. Very creative and hope someday, we'll bump into each other and he says, "YOU!" And I say "You, you fakey ho!" :-)



Rain, go away!

I hate the rains in NYC, because the bus hits the wetty pothole, and the water inside the pothole splashed onto the sidewalk, hitting people indiscriminately. Then the sidewalkers shouted with gibberish words.

I hate diarrhea right after eating Chinese food. I love soy sauce but it made my rectum go like a fire hose blasting everything out. And it burns! Please remind me NOT to eat Chinese food with soy sauce right before I go to a gay bar. Don't want to look bad in front of pretty boys like Mighty Maloney or a stud like Corey Tut.

Yeah, I ate Chinese food last night and my date was the toilet for few hours. *sigh*

Sarah, nice to see your blog up and running. *grin*



Monday, April 12, 2004

Is It Me or Them?

I noticed that there are many gay bloggers who huddled with each other and supported each other even with the fact that many of their articles are putting me to sleep.

I wonder why.

You know, I'm surprised that there is a clique within the blogworld. How pitiful.


Few Observations

Today on the city bus (m15), I saw a cute father teaching his adorable son around 3 years old how to sign with his hands from 1 to 5. He taught the boy, "1, 2, 6, 4, 5". I smiled, grimaced and sighed. But thanks for the efforts, Breen would say.

Then during my break, I went to C-Town market on Avence C. Saw a woman working there using the nametag, it reads: Licelot. Who would name their kid, Licelot? Certainly not me.

Must be in the air.


Such An Ordinary Morning

This morning, Thavith and I parted. He is probably in the air, flying to Florida to spread his faith. In case if you do not know what it is, he is semi-orthodox Jew. As bizarre as it may sound but he is indeed a good guy with irresistible smile.

I can't wait to see a movie called, "The Day After Tomorrow". It looks so fuckin' scary and cool.

This morning, I rode the subway and I saw an elder woman sitting and she stared at me. Then she bended herself a little and gurgled a hideous mucus out of her mouth onto the floor. I was like, "Gross, somebody finish her, please." Just another day in New York, I guess.


Sunday, April 11, 2004

Sharon, Will You Be My Mommy??

I was reading the New York Blade, and it mentioned that Sharon Osbourne made a comment that she regrets not having a gay or lesbian child. I was not even surprised considering the fact that I love her show on MTV. Well, I have something to say for her -- Sharon, be my mother, please?

The truth, the truth, the truth, the truth, the truth. That is all I can say at this moment.

Thavith is here. He's cuddly as hell.

Eddie pissed me off today. He IMmed me today and told me that a hearing guy with dark brown hair was looking for me at The Cock last night. I asked, "What name?" He said he does not remember. I *absolutely*hate that!! Never leave me in suspense if you do not know his fucking name! That is so forbit!!

There is a live crucifixion at Triple XXX Event tonight which a promoter invited me to get in for free but I declined to go because I have to work the next day. Triple XXX Event is a party not to be missed but I have to decline it.

I was surfing the city of Richmond's "economic development" on the Internet out of boredom because it was cold and rainy outside. I was stunned to learn that 6th Street Marketplace with its cool archbridge across the Broad Street is demolished! Not only that, they are talking about moving the ballpark to a new location in Shockoe Bottom. Shockoe Bottom in Richmond is akin to what you see in DC's Georgetown, Philadelphia's South Street and New York's Soho. I thought it was fabulous for Richmond to rip down the old ballpark and build a new one in Shockoe Bottom facing the James River and downtown. It will look like Camden Yards in Baltimore.

To make it even better, the Main Street Station which has been abandoned by the city for many years after its deadly fire in '83 is making a comeback in Shockoe Bottom. It now has Amtrak station, and the city is contemplating about moving the Greyhound bus station (which is about 2 or 3 miles outside of downtown) in that facility. The city wants to make Main Street Station the "central hub" to all points like Union Station in DC, Penn Station in NYC et al.

About time Richmond finally gets with the program.

Ahh, again, Sharon, I wanna be your son.


Saturday, April 10, 2004

Yvonne & Thavith

Last night, I met Yvonne for the first time in a decade. She looks so good. She looks so radiant. She looks marvelous. We chatted for nearly 7 hours. I finally got home at 2 AM. We talked about the wide range of subjects from A to Z. We laughed, laughed and laughed.

Then we went to XL for a couple of drinks and chatted -- we VEE'ed one guy losing his balance and knock the high tables down -- such a drama. Corey, the waiter at XL, is always flirtatious (probably needs my tips). He kept on saying, "After I get off at 4, you and me go home and sleep together." I said, "Yeah, I'm yours, you're mine." He nodded with a cocky smile, "Yes, you are for me." Such a sweet guy for Chelsea-type.

Yvonne said it is clear that he likes me, I chuckled and said, "Honey, it is New York where everyone else flirted everyone else for various reasons. Don't believe anything one says. If he is serious, you'll get a card and call him few days later."

In time, I will have to teach Yvonne everything about NYC's fags.

Thavith just emailed me and said that my wish has been granted as he is flying in from Europe for a night or two. And he wants to stay with me. He is a semi-orthodox jewish dude whom I met at The Cock few months ago. I was mesmerized with his charms. Yes, he is hearing. I must admit that Thavith is one of Top 10 that I enjoyed immensely with one-night stands. It is rare that I get to do it again ... extremely rare. So he will come in tomorrow night and we'll take a bath together, talk (hint!!) and sleep together. I am looking forward to spend some time with Thavith.

And yes, he is hot.


Friday, April 09, 2004

As The World Turns ...

I had an hour of break and I was outside, feeling the cool air all over my body. The winds. The fresh air in the midst of New York? Perhaps so. It is nice, really. Too bad, we have so many bloggers whose their works are purely mind-boggling and depressing to deal with.

Is it possible to have a *decent* gay friend to start with? I wondered.

Ahh, I was supposed to meet the Aronowicz Gal yesterday evening but she paged me that it was raining and her shoulders are acting up, so we are getting together today at 6:30 PM. It must be 10 years that I had not sat down and chat. I would not be surprised that we will chit-chat for hours.

In the another part of the world, sometimes I wish the Middle East is entirely removed and tossed away in the deep space, casted away to be forgotten. It does *nothing* but presents an obstacle in sustaining the peace and goodwill towards men (and women).

Larry mentioned about the Rwandan Genocide, you know, I am not like Larry -- I heard about it in Richmond Times-Dispatch in small articles. At that time, they did not call it a genocide, just a series of massacres. But the repeated massacres became a form of genocide, really.

Last Sunday night, I was treated with a great program on PBS (PBS Rules!!) about the Rwandan Genocide. It contained the footages where we get to watch the Hutu extremists butchering the Tutsis. It was a macabre. You get to see a guy using the machete to strike on one gal's head repeatedly. I mean, you get to see a person die right there on the tape. It was reported that many Hutu extremists drank lots of alcohol to ignore the remorse or guilty conscience and do these things.

My friend, Claudeine Umuveyei, my former YLC wife, was a victim of Rwandan ethnic cleansing. She and her family fled to Canada. She mentioned that she is a Tutsi and large portions of her extended families are dead, butchered by the Hutu extremists.

But guess what? The world still moves around. People are being born, people are being killed, people are being infected with different things, people are being happy, people are being sad ... the world still revolves into tomorrow. It is interesting, though.

I know when I die, some people will miss me, some people will celebrate with fireworks. But 1,000 years later, nobody remembers who I am. We do not know who our forefathers of 1,000 years ago are, do you expect you would be known in 1,000 years? No. Basically, they might say, "Ah, that is so cute name. I'm going to name my kid after this cool name." That's it.

Gaea continues to move into tomorrow. Nothing we can do to prevent this.

So I'm going out for the night. Good night,


Thursday, April 08, 2004

How Can I Be A Pig?

It amused me to no end that someone called me a pig. If you read his blogs, you'd see that he enjoys raunchy sex, frequents sex and all that stuff. In the gay community, a pig is reserved for men who likes raunchy sex.

I'm not in that. I laugh at it, but I'm not into that. But he is -- who is a true pig? He is. Not me. The logic dictated that he is a pig. But what do I expect from a hearie, really?

I wanted to emphasize the facts that I do *not* resent hearing people. I do not feel bitter towards them. I just do not care about them, I have some hearing friends and they are great to me. I appreciated that as well. But I'm talking about "these" hearies.

For example, when a hearing person learned new signs, they tend to attempt in telling deaf people that their signs are *wrong*. That is forbit. A big-time *forbit*! When one did that, it turned me off.

When a hearing person wants to be a teacher of the deaf, I cringe because I grew up dealing with horrible teachers who think they knew better for us to follow and live by. I reject that 'plantation mentality'. It is my wish that there are only Deaf teachers for Deaf children.

I always sneered at people who studied in audiology and speech therapy. Why study something that is already dead? When I was a kid, I was forced to sit very close to a speech therapist who is very old woman with 1,500 wrinkles in her face and neck. I had to feel her neck, her nose and her air out of her fucking mouth. Her breath kept on blowing in my face. What a nightmare. Maybe that is why I am gay. Who knows?

But the point is that I do not resent or feel bitter towards them, I just have the opinions that hearing persons should back off and treat us as equals, not otherwise. As of now, I do not see any changes in the society we live in, so I am being cynical at times.

But my two boyfriends were hearing. How weird is that? But who cares, really?


Here's my turd!

I remembered the tale by Chlms' sister about her experiences in working at the zoo. She mentioned that the chimpanzees threw the turds at her. She was offended but the folks who worked at the zoo told her that it is their way of saying that Stacy is a hot chick and that they were trying to mark her as theirs.

I was thinking about this today, you know, it'll be so fucking surreal if we see gay men doing that in gay bars. Can you imagine walking around the bar and suddenly, a turd splattered on your back or chest or face? But again, what if a hot dude comes in the gay bar, and everyone throws the turds at him.

I see that Berna created her blog as well. Berna, Berna!

My memories with Berna was absolutely great. I remembered the icy pool in Arizona where she pressured me to take a quick dip in the pool in the dark hours during the month of January. I resisted but caved in to the pressures. I jumped. By god, it was so freezing that I could not find my penis. I had to issue a profile on a milk carton that my penis was missing.

I remembered Berna and me busting one guy having a fling with another guy from ... he thought we were sleeping but we were waiting on him then he brought someone in the apartment, we decided to turn the lights on and wait for them to come out. So *funny*.

I remembered asking Berna where the 2 pounds of tea were when she and the gang's car broke down in Socorro, New Mexico. She said, "I stayed at the Sheriff's Department and slept in a jail room, but it was not locked." I assumed if the tea were left in the car. She said, "No, we took it with us." I said, "What?" She said, "They said it's best that we carry everything with me because lots of illegal aliens will steal anything that is left on the highways. I gasped and said, "You mean, you took the fucking 2 1/2 pounds of tea into the police station and walked out with it? She nodded. Such a priceless moment.

Remember the Fireworks in Las Vegas? Such a drama! We were all high and raced to the top floor of the 10-story parking lot to watch the fireworks. But the security officers told us that the top floor is empty and off-limits (our car was the only one there), I quickly looked at the time. It was 11:58 PM. I quickly asked Rosalie to use her charisma and give the security officers hard time so that we can stall them in order to watch the fireworks. She did a good job -- suddenly, the explosions banged just right above us. It scared the shit out of us all but we howled with laughters, it was unexpected and so funny!

One more story, Keith told me this before -- he was in Paris and there was a gypsy beggar who persisted on Keith for some changes. He got fed up and slapped the gypsy beggar's cup and it flew all over the floor. Keith has the guts to do that and that guy was ready to attack Keith ...

These are my friends, always fun and full of life. So welcome, Berna.


Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Few Changes, Really

I decided to alter the appearance. But the problem is that I forgot how to insert the email address link. I'd have to look in some books somewhere else.

And I'd like to add IM as well since I'm on DSL all the time. Umm ...

Any feedbacks on how to insert the IM and/or email link, please feel free to tell me how.

Damn, when you need something, it's not there. When you don't need it, it pops up.



Tipping, Weight Loss, Rumors ... !

I am sick of hearing and deaf people who perpetuated that deaf people are bad tippers. I dont think we are that bad. Some of us did *not* know how to tip properly because nobody told them. But I do tip, even with a lousy drink or a dinner plate. I knew of a hearing guy who refused to tip when he got a shoddy treatment by some waiters. He said that some people do not deserve a tip. Many of us are diverse. Some tips, some do not tip.

But hearies and audists like to categorize us at times. That really annoyed me the most.

You know, it is OK to read a comic book. One guy said that I lived in a fantasy world because I read these books. Excuse me, if that is the case, then tell me why people go to the movies? Why people read the fiction novels? I never said that Mordru is my favorite person -- I always said that he is my favorite character. I think it is safe to say that I have more books than comic books in my bedroom. Some people loved Frodo, and what is the point?

Last night, I chatted with a hearing friend of mine (a neighbor) who also read some vicious remarks by a certain person. He said that I should call the cops in order to protect myself since he knew who I am. And he also added that my English skills are fine.

How many times should I repeat this? English is *not* my first language. I always aim to improve my skills ... so naturally, I'm sick of people criticizing others' skills. When one argues with some merits, people has to resort to name-calling insults and threats.

I hadn't decided whether to go to the District this weekend to be part of Gallaudet's Rock Festival hoopla. See, see.

I will get a chance to dine and wine with Aronowicz Gal -- a girl that I hadn't seen in 10 years. She found me on and was shocked that I live here in New York. I was also shocked that she is back in New York, too. Yay! We'll chit-chat for hours, for sure!!! Such a gorgeous and classy gal.

Last night, I was wearing the yellow sweater with Gallaudet on it, the one that Mitch gave it to me last year. I noticed something interesting. Initially, it fits me last year. Now it's too big for me. The lines on the sweater by my shoulders are now in the lower part of the upper arms. So maybe I did lose some -- but I need to sign up for some workouts to crush this hideous belly. One guy said that it's so cute and he'll disown me if I get rid of it. And guess what? I'm gonna get rid of it.



Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I Had Been Thinking ...

I had been thinking hard about the way I reacted and treated Ryan on comments and articles. I decided that it is inappropriate and way out of my character to mistreat someone else like that. I just cannot live with this conscience where I do that.

All in all, I often use the blogsite as a way to humor and put some spices to my life which I enjoyed very much so far in New York.

I personally enjoyed reading Ryan's articles until he seemed to talk openly about the open-relationships which I am not fond of. Then it escalated when I interjected the HIV thing into the form. It was not appropriate of me to do that. For that, I apologize.

Frankly, I do not want to have enemies at all. I just am tired of dealing with hearing ignorants all the time, adding new enemies on the list is not what I needed, though.

So I am deleting the postings I retaliated at Ryan and others. Ryan, I am sorry for the way I reacted.

To some people who were offended by my comments at Ryan, I'm sorry.

But to many friends of mine, they knew that I'm very harmless who likes to crack jokes on many things in life.



Few Tidbits

Two weeks ago, something happened in The Bronx -- yeah, you call it THE Bronx, not Bronx -- there was an owner of ice cream truck driving down the street, another ice cream truck's driver came out and attacked the other one because they were stealing their routes and business. Ice cream trucks? What's next?

You know, hearing people amazed me. And they are stupid, too. Often, that is. Some people said I should educate them about deafness, Deaf culture and American Sign Language. I always shrugged and said, "I was not born to do that, thank you very much -- SKSK to your face!"

No, it is not bitter or resentment. My common sense dictated that it is waste of my time trying to make a difference. So I chose to do what is on the table for me, myself and my soul. Look at my grandmother, she spent her whole life educating hearing people and always very patient woman. In the end, she did not get what she deserved. It amounted to nothing. Hearing people always takes, takes and takes. Look at deaf education, deaf agencies, Gallaudet et al. Deaf people has to *fight* to achieve what they wanted in life. Deaf people wanted to take control of deaf schools, hearing administrators objected. Deaf people wanted to take control of deaf-owned agencies, hearing administrators bickered and sabotaged.

Needless to say, it is a cycle that we have to endure for years. Am I bitter? No. I am being realistic and of course, very wary of hearing people. When one hearing person is too nice, something is going on, trust me. Sooner or later, they will use what is on your table and turn it against you.

Of course, not all hearing people are like that, but the majority of hearing people are like that.

Ahh, to clear up some confusions, I do have some friends who are HIV Positive, in fact, I am very close friend with him. I do not feel that he was irresponsible. He made a mistake. But for a person to trust a man (lover) and not to wear a condom in the first place is irresponsible, period. Why do you trust men, especially hearing men? They are dogs, plain and simple. They are always lying and horny all the time.

And for someone to say that he always is worried about infecting someone else everyday, then clean up his acts. Don't go out and do one-night stands. I know of a friend who has HIV Positive and he is not worried all the time. Know why? Because he does not go out and fuck every night or 5 times per week! In order to stop worrying too much, one has to tone and control himself.

Open-relationships made the concept of marriage a moot, I think. What is the point of having a marriage if you want to bomp everyone else that moves?

Ahh, I hate Tennessee and Connecticut -- they are playing for the national championship game for the 2nd straight year. And for the second straight year, I selected not to watch the game. That game is like a CD overplayed repeatedly over the years. Ugh.

Instead, I'll go with friends to see a movie tonight.



Saturday, April 03, 2004


I was reading Litch's comments about various things and saw him talking about The X-Men. I was amused because I read The Uncanny X-Men for many years. Then I read The New Mutants, then X-Factor. Three books to follow is enough. They changed The New Mutants into X-Force. From there, they blew it open -- creating more books to a point where I say, "I love you but fuck this."

I love the X-Men movies, it totally separated itself from the storyline that was already constructed in the books. But there are some interesting streaks that you have to say, "Yes! Yes!" when you saw Jean Grey glowed and used her powers to contain the waters from overwhelming the plane as the plane flew out. Before the waters buried Jean Grey, you saw the fire in her eyes -- it indicated that Dark Phoenix is coming!!

Did you know that in the books, they never said that Pyro is gay but it is obvious, the way he talked, acted and hung out with pretty boys. Stuff like that was great. I agreed about Rogue and Mystique -- also Nightcrawler learned that his mother is Mystique. Remember, Mystique adopted Rogue, not that she is the real daughter of Mystique.

Anyway, I want to jump to the subject about Infectia. Not many people remembered her. She made a brief appearance in X-Factor as a gal who thought Iceman was hot and wanted to be with her (she really liked Iceman but she also wanted to use him to get in a ship). But the problem is that her kiss always transformed a person's genetic make-ups to the extremes. Suffice to say, Beast, Iceman's best friend, who was caucasian and prevented Iceman from kissing Infectia by kissing her -- Beast was transformed into a hairy, blue-skinned and incredibly above-intelligence mind.

Sounds so corny, is it? Yeah, but that is not what I wanted to share.

Long time later in the series, there was a virus named Legacy which spreads among the Mutants and killing them in the process. Beast was struggling with the fact that he lost his "normal looking" and could not bag any woman to love. He found out that Infectia was infected with the Legacy Virus and was dying in Los Angeles.

Beast initially hesitated from going to the hospital where Infectia was quarantined in Los Angeles because he resented her for ruining his identity. Later, Infectia woke up very sick and was very apologetic. She repeatedly apologized to Beast. Later, it was evident that she will die shortly. She complained to Beast and others that she wanted to see the sunset and the city of Los Angeles before she died. Beast then did something (the artwork was excellent, too) that moved my heart. I quickly locked my bedroom as I started to shed a tear or two as Beast made sure that no one sees him.

He picked up Infectia in his arms, she woke up groggily and said, "Beastie, aren't you afraid that I might infect you?" Beast didnt respond but it was evident that he was not. Infectia touched his hairy cheek as he took her to the mountains overlooking Los Angeles and held her in his arms as the sunset goes down.

Infectia curled against Beast's massive, hairy, muscular blue body as Beast openly cried. Infectia then died peacefully in his arms.

That really moved me a lot. Beast's actions are simply courageous and compassion for people who made bad mistakes . And he also went beyond to assure that everything is OK. I just hope that there are people like that out there for everyone else. To hold such a compassion for others than hirself.

I think I said enough for the day.


Here It is!

You may comment from now on. But remember, this is my domain. If I find your comments inane, it's gone.


My Three Trash Bins

All my close friends might roll their eyes when I explain the rules. Especially Web and Breen Gal.

People out there needs to understand my views of how the world operates with the gossips. Everyone simply gossip, common sense dictates that the human beings are a social group that requires to mingle with each other -- that includes getting to know each other through different means.

I may be the only person who admitted that I gossip occasionally -- I also may be the only person who identify and classify what kinds of information people use to filter things out. I call it ... Three Trash Bins.

First Trash Bin has a cap on the top of it -- it is sealed, contained and kept intact. This bin is for my friends, people who are wonderful to me and others, people who are respectful -- whatever I heard remained in this bin.

Second Trash Bin has a cap but it is not sealed partially. This concept applies to the group that I am not sure whether to trust or not. This often contained information that does not mean much to the public, really. If people ask me, I figure out if it's cool to share or not. Sometimes people give me the information, I put it in 2nd and let it slide. Or not. Common sense is required in this manner or you're fucked up.

Third Trash Bin lacked the cap to contain the trash. It is reserved for people who I do not regard that has a soul within themselves. They are annoying, stupid, arrogant, unrespectful -- often it is reserved for people who double-crossed me, my friends. It can apply to people that has nothing to do with me but the way s/he berated the others out of no reasons.

The majority of my close friends are in 1st, the majority of people whom I do not care much for are in 3rd. So there you know!

I'm off to The Slide.


Friday, April 02, 2004

May the Glory of Gaea be with you.

These words were uttered by the Amazons towards each other in love, honor and pride.

I read what Larry talked about Wonder Woman. When I was a kid, I loved Wonder Woman. I even had the posters of Wonder Woman in my dorm room at VSD. How pitiful, is it?

Even worse when I see the repeats, the villains were running so fast and Lynda Carter ran so slow -- yet, she caught them so easily! Well, Lynda Carter is beautiful alcoholic woman, just like Karen Walker.

Anyway, you know that the origins of Wonder Woman is very interesting. Wonder Woman came from a forgotten island named Themyscira where the gods protect from the Man's World. Earlier in the past, the females fled the Man's World and set up its own civilization for women. But since they violated the gods' wishes, the Amazons were ordered to wear the bondages on their wrists as a reminder of who they are from the distant place called the Man's World where they were enslaved by men.

Also, they were granted immortality on a condition that they must safeguard the caverns that could free some kind of demons.

Now ... this is so Greek, is it? But why is Wonder Woman's appearances seem to be so ... USA?

Thanks to George Perez, the writer/artist of Wonder Woman in DC Comics who crafted the origins of Wonder Woman. Themyscira has been hidden away guarded by the gods (Athena, Hera, Aphrodite, Hermes, Demeter and Poseidon), so years has passed by ....

Meanwhile in the Man's World, we eventually evolved to a point where women are capable of flying and be treated as an equal. There was an aspiring aviator in 1950s named Diana Trevor. She wanted to fly an airplane across the Atlantic Ocean. She lost the control of her plane and crashed into the ocean. Poseidon, the god of the oceans sensed the goodness in her and carried her to the shores of Themyscira.

Diana woke up on the beach and was stunned to see the greek-style buildings and she checked her United States Air Force jacket including the golden eagle pin and the US Flag patch. Suddenly, she heard the thunders and screams. It was several women screaming. Diana quickly pulled the gun and cocked it ready as she ran towards the screams. Then she saw a legion of women trying to contain the demon that was trying to break out of the cavern -- the demon was winning and it was hurting some women.

Suddenly, a thunder occured -- the women were startled and saw a lone stranger pointing something at the demon, it caused the demon to roll back into the caverns but not without some women. Diana ran after it into the caverns as the women were stunned to see a different figure saving their lives and running after the demon into the cavern.

Inside the cavern, Diana located the demon and sacrificed her life to save several women as she aimed the gun at the demon's head as the demon's tentacles crushed her body -- it was enough to save women's lives.

The Amazons brought Diana out of the cavern and brought it to Queen Hippolyte who decided to honor her bravery and courage as she ordered the specialists to design a monument after Diana. But it was not enough, Queen Hippolyte decided to set up a contest that will pick *one* Amazon to represent Themyscira. The specialists studied Diana Trevor's clothes in order to design an uniform that will be very special. They took the US flag patch and gold eagle pin and few things ... boom, you get Wonder Woman right there.

Ahh. Thanks, George Perez.

May the Glory of Gaea be with you.


This is for you, Sonny!!

Sonny Wasilowski is perhaps the happiest man in the nation -- bagged and sealed Lisa Macon as Lisa Wasilowski last summer (thus preserved his heterosexual identity) and seeing his favorite college team reach the Final Four in New Orleans -- Minnesota Golden Gophers.

Janel McCarville is obviously big and tough chick. She is what I termed: A corn-fed chick who could plow her way around in the paint to score points and grab rebounds. Just like Stacy Stephens, another corn-fed chick whom I loved at Texas Longhorns.

I just hope UMinn will pound some sense into UConn, especially Diana Taurasi.

Back to Sonny, I asked him if he reads my blogs, he said he did and that it was scandalous. Because I name names in bold. Well, well, well. Not to name names is to defeat the sole purpose of my blog's existence, really. There are many injustices in this world that people got away with it -- I figured if I can help by naming names, I do the Fates a favor or two.

Sonny will never have to worry about me trying to lambast his reputation into smithereens. He is just a cute, skinny boy whom needs to put some meat on his body -- perhaps the marriage itself will do the trick. If he was gay, I still will not want him. He would be certified as a twink and condemned by moi.

Lisa Wasilowski, keep an eye on him ... you know how men are. You once lived in New York City -- if no woman can keep her man occupied, you know what will happen. But good thing about you is that you got Sonny wrapped around ur index finger.