Thursday, July 29, 2004

One Cool Thing About Being Deaf ...

One cool thing about being Deaf is that we often described a person by its appearance.  Suppose if someone asked me what Dylan looks like.
My response can be cute or horrible as I'd say, "Oh, he's about 6'1, with blond hair, lanky body.  Always wears the trenchcoat in college.  In fact, you probably will recognize him easily when he strolls down the H Street on a Saturday afternoon because he's the only white person walking around." 
Stuff like that, Deaf people would say, "Oh, yeah!  I know him!  Y-E-S!!  Is that him who heckled Eric Heckman at times in the cafeteria?"  I would nod and signed vehemently, "Y-E-S!!"
Stuff like that.  Well, today, Dylan told me that I forgot to include the infamous meltdown of Patrice Edwards in the cafeteria.  That triggered the memory of a lunchtime drama that exploded out of nothingness.  And left us in shambles afterwards for days to come. 
Dennis was frustrated that this gal, Patrice, chased him for years.  Somehow, things transpired to a point where Patrice walked over to our table in the Barfeteria and said, "YOU (pointed at Dennis) will marry me someday because I want you." 
Dennis flipped out and said, "Fuck, no.  I don't want you!" 
Patrice insisted and tried to grab Dennis by his massive shoulders that he belonged to her.  Dennis got upset and left the cafeteria, Patrice shrieked.  I got angry and stood up and yelled at her -- I was furious, "Get this through your skull, he does not want you."  She snapped at me that it was my fault that he did not want her.  Cripes. 
I told her, "It is not my fault that you fell asleep in the microwave and ended up having that face." 
The truth is that her face looks like it melted.  I know, I know.  I was mean back then.  I was incredibly mean but what she did to Dennis was inexcusable.

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