Monday, July 11, 2005

Some Old Things Do Not Change In Cruisy Bars

I had a good laugh with my friend, Spillers, now living in Knoxville. He told me that he went to New Orleans last week just to see what is up on Bourbon Street. Spillers and his friends went to different bars and he ended up having a blast time.

Then it was mentioned that they should check out the bar called The Phoenix / Eagle, the infamous cruising spot where you can see things in its unnatural occurences upstairs, especially in the bathroom. So off to that bar they went!

Spillers said that he was astonished to see a complete blackout on the whole floor upstairs. He went on to mention that it was nearly impossible to do this, that and there. Shortly, he realized that his wallet was missing. He groaned. Again, it was too dark in the bar to crawl around on the floor.

So it was already missing. He was so disappointed. I asked if he lost a lot of cash, he said no. It was about $30 plus four credit cards.

Shortly, he went to the bathroom to piss -- he mentioned that unlike the bar itself, the bathroom is not dark because it has red bulb brightening. He went to the stainless urinal tub only to find his driver's license, one credit card and hotel access card lying in the middle of stainless urinal tub. He had to pick these piss-drenched cards out of the tub!

Yes, he washed it. He said, "Why did not they take this credit card as well?"

This reminded me of a situation with Erik in '94 at Green Lantern in DC. I warned Erik to be aware of his wallet because the upstairs floor is notorious for wallets being pickpocketed, especially in the dark corner at the back of the bar.

Shortly, Erik wandered away from me as I was busy with a friend. Then I looked for Erik. He was drunk so bad -- I asked him where his wallet is. He realized that it was taken. We crawled on the floor searching -- so many penises hits on my forehead. Erik, Anderson, Schledt and I searched for his wallet -- Erik had to crunch some men's penises to get it out of our way. We could not find his wallet. But we found so many cum-filled dollars. We went to the bathroom to haul the trash bin onto the sink and went through it. Erik was crying hysterically.

It was such a drama. It was so dramatic.

Then we went to McDonalds to get us food. Yes, we paid it with cum-filled money. The look on the cashier's face was priceless as Erik splatted the money on the counter. After all, it is legitimate currency, honey.

Then we had to console Erik who said, "Fuck, I have to call Mom to cancel the credit cards! I have to get the driver's license! I have to get Gallaudet ID! I have to get fucking health insurance card from Mom! I have to call bank to secure the account! What a fucking hassle."

Anderson, Schledt and I listened and supported him.

It was 4 AM that we arrived at Erik's dormitory room in Benson Hall. As Erik entered the bedroom, he started to sob as three of us were perplexed and asked him why. Erik jumped and said, "LOOK! LOOK! ON THE BED!"

His wallet was there the whole time.

Gee! Thanks a lot, Erik, for making us to crawl on the floor for your fucking wallet!



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