I guess, having hurricanes hitting the state repeatedly to a point where something like this happened. I guess the hurricanes took their minds away. Check the fabulous article about self-defense. It says a lot about people who came from the town of Pensacola.
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
Eat Your Heart Out
My thanks to McFly for this information -- here is a piece of your conservative shit!
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Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
by John Gray
Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his life-time.
Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republican’s would still be sitting in the dark)
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.
He turns on a radio talk show, the host’s keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. (He doesn’t tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day) Joe agrees, “We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I’m a self made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have”.
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Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
by John Gray
Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and work as advertised.
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his life-time.
Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republican’s would still be sitting in the dark)
He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.
He turns on a radio talk show, the host’s keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. (He doesn’t tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day) Joe agrees, “We don’t need those big government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I’m a self made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have”.
Good Riddance ... I think
Saw this somewhere before. I was glad to get rid of this. Chlms' father tends to call me this name each time we saw each other. One time, I was in the midst of a conversation with Chlms and her mother and suddenly, I was poked by Chlms' father. I'm like, "Do this again, you'll find yourself buried somewhere in the barren forest."
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* * *
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community - The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very `smart` cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
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* * *
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community - The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very `smart` cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart.
A Whiffle Bat, Please?
Saw this on a particular website and it amused me to no end. I thought I'd share this with y'all. Perhaps, Ben of Wham-Bam's roommate, Jesse would be excited and his tiny penis will erect after years of impotency? Perhaps so ...
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Wednesday, September 08, 2004
There, there and over there!
It is nice. No, it is not nice, really. At the same time, it is not nice and nice.
Two days ago, I was at The Phoenix with Benis. Yakked, yakked and yakked. Then the bartender interrupted our conversation. He slowly fingerspelled that a guy with a head shaved thought I was very hot. I was surprised and delighted. Then I asked the bartender where? He looked around then looked back at me and indicated that he left.
Oh, well.
Last night, one fuckin' ugly guy thinks he can have me. Of course, I boot him back to DC. LOL.
But from time to time, I am noticing that more and more people are starting to say nice things about the way I look.
In time, I'll be thin and Chris Kaftan will be like Chris Farley.
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Two days ago, I was at The Phoenix with Benis. Yakked, yakked and yakked. Then the bartender interrupted our conversation. He slowly fingerspelled that a guy with a head shaved thought I was very hot. I was surprised and delighted. Then I asked the bartender where? He looked around then looked back at me and indicated that he left.
Oh, well.
Last night, one fuckin' ugly guy thinks he can have me. Of course, I boot him back to DC. LOL.
But from time to time, I am noticing that more and more people are starting to say nice things about the way I look.
In time, I'll be thin and Chris Kaftan will be like Chris Farley.
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Secularism
The Islamic terrorists often are men who has no job, no future ... cannot read nor write. Cannot vote. They have nothing to lose, but we have so much to lose. So they decided to target us. Fair trade-off, would you say, Ben? That is how it works in this world -- that's why they crashed the planes into Pentagon and World Trade Center. It is because they knew they had nothing to lose, but we have so much to lose.
I saw a quote where one gal said, "Time changed, you either get used to it or get swept away."
In this country, we have our own terrorists as well. Look at Tim McVeigh. But we were civilized enough to prosecute him with justice retribution. How? Secularism. By being moderate about everything else. How did we get this country to be secular? Educational system, really.
Many Islamic countries lacked that. It just falls straight into the extremists' views from day one. We need an alternative route for these people. To show them that there is a way out.
But with American's help of cash and guns, the kingdoms are ignoring the masses' pleas for reforms.
So we cannot blame the terrorists for doing this to us -- we have so much to lose.
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I saw a quote where one gal said, "Time changed, you either get used to it or get swept away."
In this country, we have our own terrorists as well. Look at Tim McVeigh. But we were civilized enough to prosecute him with justice retribution. How? Secularism. By being moderate about everything else. How did we get this country to be secular? Educational system, really.
Many Islamic countries lacked that. It just falls straight into the extremists' views from day one. We need an alternative route for these people. To show them that there is a way out.
But with American's help of cash and guns, the kingdoms are ignoring the masses' pleas for reforms.
So we cannot blame the terrorists for doing this to us -- we have so much to lose.
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Classic Sitcoms
My favorite sitcoms of all time are:
Golden Girls -- These four gals has lines that shall endure for 50 years. The pause after the punch-line for us to laugh heartily then resume watching is priceless.
Designing Women -- These four gals are awesome. I loved their punch lines. Julia once spoke something, "In the North, they hide their lunatic siblings, but here, we put them in the front for the world to see."
Married with Children -- Who cannot resist the lovable Bundy family?
The Jeffersons -- Who love Weezie? I do. And their maid. And the obnoxious but lovable Mr. Jefferson!
Anyone care to add?
The current sitcoms that I think has a potential to go 50 years and still be funny:
The Simpsons, Futurama, King of the Hill and Malcolm In The Middle.
One show that seems to be promising: Father of the Pride
One show that will never be a classic: Cosby Show -- it is too cheesy.
One show that could be a classic if not for its last year's edition: Roseanne -- but you must admit that the finale of the show was a stunning one.
What do you think?
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Golden Girls -- These four gals has lines that shall endure for 50 years. The pause after the punch-line for us to laugh heartily then resume watching is priceless.
Designing Women -- These four gals are awesome. I loved their punch lines. Julia once spoke something, "In the North, they hide their lunatic siblings, but here, we put them in the front for the world to see."
Married with Children -- Who cannot resist the lovable Bundy family?
The Jeffersons -- Who love Weezie? I do. And their maid. And the obnoxious but lovable Mr. Jefferson!
Anyone care to add?
The current sitcoms that I think has a potential to go 50 years and still be funny:
The Simpsons, Futurama, King of the Hill and Malcolm In The Middle.
One show that seems to be promising: Father of the Pride
One show that will never be a classic: Cosby Show -- it is too cheesy.
One show that could be a classic if not for its last year's edition: Roseanne -- but you must admit that the finale of the show was a stunning one.
What do you think?
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