One Personal Reflection Upon 2005

I was reading some entries from January 2005 to December. I need to mention one thing that happened in 2005.

The death of Sarah Pack, a true New York blogger who is also my good friend.

She was introduced to me by Kaybee when I first visited New York. Despite the fact that I'm gay and her being a lesbian, we click on very well. We have similar tastes in a lot of things. So it was pretty much easier for me to rely on her.

When I needed a timeout from everything, I usually went to Sarah's place in Hell's Kitchen just to get away from everyone for a day or two. I liked Sarah because she is flexible with how I communicate -- sometimes, people like to stick to one subject all night long -- I do not. I like to talk about things in very spontaneous manner. I like to change the subjects for no particular reason. Sarah never questioned me why I changed the subject if I feel like it.

It was quite difficult when I learned that she died last November. She was not supposed to die at all. Basically, the hospitals screwed her up and that is what got her killed. Her parents are Xians, they do not want to sue, only to forgive.

I am very thankful that Berna insisted that I go with her, her father and her girlfriend to New York last October and I knew we needed a place to stay so I got in touch with Sarah. Of course, Sarah took us in. Later, Berna and others went to bed, Sarah and I spent about 3 hours talking about life, school, work et al in her bedroom.

That turned out to be the last time we had a good conversation. I guess I got some kind of satisfication out of that. Not only that, when she was hospitalized, she and I kept in touch by paging each other frequently. In fact, she died 12 minutes after sending me the message via the blackberry pager. I guess it helps me to deal with the grief of her sudden death.

Even if I aged to 70, I do not think I'll ever forget Sarah. I'm grateful that Sarah was my good friend. I do. I'll miss her very much. Even tonight, I'll celebrate at some party, I'll remember her. Always.

Of course, I have many good friends, but not many are like Sarah. Sarah told me before she met me, she heard a lot of horror stories about me. But when she gets to know me more, she was grateful to know me more. That is a real friendship in the making.

Cheers,

R-