It Is OK To Be Stoic, Really!

I'll get to that theme and talk about it but first things has to vented out eventually.

I had been packing all my stuff back into the boxes once again. It seems to me that I kept on moving year after year. Can't I even stay in one place for five years? But I got a sense that this one will be a long time.

Last Saturday night, I went to my new place and dropped some of my stuff there. Then went to XL for few drinks (Few? Yeah, right, you liar, RT!). Once again, I stumbled into Corey, that irresistible charming fella at XL. I told him that in the last month, I already met four unavailable guys named Coreys. He was quicker to mention that he's not unavailable and that he broke up recently.

My general rule is not to date guys who works at gay bars/clubs because it is their job to make us feel loved and drain money out of us, really. Corey did give me the email address few months ago but I apparently lost it somewhere in my palace (Maybe I washed it along in my jeans?). God know, I get cards, notes and napkins from guys with their phone numbers and addresses here more than I did in DC. Don't ask me why. Sometimes I am not used to the idea that there are guys who liked me or find me attractive.

I know you, guys and gals. "There RT goes again, questioning his self-esteem!!" But I assured you guys, it is not. I am not used to the concept (Remember that overused word at Gallaudet?) that I am liked by some. That takes time to get used to that concept (There I go again!)

There was another guy at XL who conceptually (Again!) liked me and is from Honduras. Since he is from Honduras, it is obvious a latino dude. Why did I say that he liked me? He kept on rubbing my back and talked about my life and his life. He kept on asking a lot about me, so conceptually (Again, RT!!) he has to like me. Is it?

I left XL at 1230 AM in order to check the Fur Ball at the GLBT Center to check out the dance that is geared towards bears, cubs, chubs and its admirers. But it closed at 1 AM, not worth my time, energy or cash as well. I am trying to get rid of my belly -- will explain more about it in a bit. I left for my tiny palace right after that episode at the GLBT Center.

Yesterday, Chris and Shane (both are boyfriends) and I met at Excelsior Bar which is 3 blocks away. We drank and played cards. It was my first time to meet Shane after about 3 months. He seems to be happy to see me. Chris is cute as ever. Anyway, Shane asked me that since I am moving to East Village, he'd like to have a gym workout partner and he wanted me to be the one. I told him as soon as I finish everything up with moving, I am more than interested in being one with him.

Anything to win another Shane who lives in Ithaca. He's my type, oh well. I know I'm freaking him out already 'cuz I did not meet him yet. My ideal guy is normal, laid-back, scrawny, intelligent and homeboy where I can come home and say, "I'm home, honey!" just like the husband in that flick, "Pleasantville" -- except that my wife won't use the apron at all. He'll be himself and throw himself on me even if he's dirty. It'd be nice if it was Shane of Ithaca or someone else!

I am not feeling well today, which is why I babbled too much ... I am watching Maury Povich's Makeover Show. I noticed that lots of funny shows made fun of Maury's wife, Connie Chung. It appears that they made fun of her intelligence. Probably because they noticed that she's dweeb? I wondered. Yeah, I am sucker for Jerry Springer Show (Now in 13th season) -- it is sick, stupid and barbaric show but I always giggle or stare at it. When I am not feeling well, I like to watch Dragon Tales. It is charming, brief, uplifting story. I used to intern at PBS National Headquarters in DC. Lindsey Austin Samahon and Jennifer Sale made my experiences at PBS very, very positive.

Sometimes I'd like to be able to hear the sounds is James Earl Jones' voice. I heard that his voice is powerful. I dont care much for birds' twirping or anything like that but I am curious about Last Friday, I told Lorraine that sometimes I wish I am able to speak with my voice instead of my hands because when I am making out with a guy, I dont want my signs to interfere. I just want to mumble something. Oh, well. C'est la vie.

Cliff, I'm sorry about your cat. Did you get to talk with your former roommates about them having FIP? It really sucked.

And by the way, my posting to you few weeks ago were pretty harsh, I know. I am sorry if you felt it was mean. It's just that I felt nobody were on my side when I was trifled upon. Hope you understand what I meant by that.

Otherwise, Jerry Springer Show is on. I gotta throw some DayQuil in my body and nap a little. It's chilly, rainy and drab day. Oh, well.

Oh, one more thing ... Queen Mary 2 came to New York. Last night, I stood by the bridge overpass the Prospect Expressway, it has an open view of Manhattan Harbor. The ship is massive huge. That word "huge" is not big enough for that ship. It was reported that if you turned the boat into a skyscraper, it'd be 2nd tallest building in New York just behind Empire State Building by few hundred feets!! Then the fireworks ensued to bid the ship good-bye as it rolls back to England. Britons, well done!!

I am stoic because I want to -- I have a picture of Dawn Staley walking off the basketball court while her players sobbed for losing a game in the NCAA Tournament. Dawn is a tough chick. Sometimes I move on with my life just like that. Call it a survival of the fittest, I guess.

Until then,

R-